I always, always feel extremely uncomfortable when it comes to change.
Stability has not always been something I’ve been overly familiar with during my time on this earth; most days growing up always had some kind of unknown, some fear factor that I had to be wary of. Since I’ve gotten older, I’ve been able to provide myself more of that stability I’ve been lacking.
That said, is it possible to get too comfortable with familiar surroundings?
Anxiety Plays a Part
The thoughts I just outlined above? I know a huge factor that plays into those thoughts are my anxiety.
I developed a lot of mental health issues over the years that came from childhood traumas I’m still trying to cope with to this day. One of the things that’s hardest to actually deal with is feeling safe in my environment. Everything can go well, and just as planned throughout the day…But then I’ll have those intrusive thoughts.
- Am I too comfortable?
- Do I have the luxury of being relaxed?
- Something bad is going to happen
- I’m not prepared for change
- Change is scary
Again and again, those kinds of thoughts will resurface, and they certainly don’t help when I’m trying to accomplish things. What they end up doing is triggering my depression. It makes me feel like I shouldn’t even be bothering. What’s the point?
In reality, things will always changes, and there is always the possibility that it won’t be for the better.
Fact is, though? You can’t control everything around you. If you go around thinking you have final say of absolutely everything that happens in your life, you’ll drive yourself up a wall. I’ve had situations like that multiple times – Now, more than ever, I have a fear of just leaving the house for more than a few minutes.
So what can you do in these situations?
Change What You Can
Even if you aren’t in full control of what’s going on, if there’s something irking you, or making you feel as if you can’t feel comfortable in what appears to be a stable situation, start thinking about what you can do to change that.
Are there noises outside the window bothering you? Put your earbuds in and listen to some music.
Is there something making your body uncomfortable? Are you curled up in a weird way (so me) and causing unnecessary tension in your body? Get up for a few minutes and go make yourself a tea!
Something I read recently can also come into play here – You don’t have to follow the socially normal method of handling situations that cause you discomfort. I think the best explanation of this was the example; Worried about leaving your curling iron on when you leave the house? Carry it in your purse when you go to work.
It may seem a little out there, but in the long run? It prevents you from worrying about it.
Accept What Can’t Be Changed
So many people say this…And every single one of them is absolutely right.
The best example I have with this is in relationships; You definitely can’t control what other people do and don’t do. Maybe you fall head over heels for someone, and a week later they reject you. You’re going to have hella anxiety up until then, and some time after, wondering why it happened or what you did wrong.
The thing is, you absolutely, 100% cannot control other people.
At the end of the day, what you need to accept is that that person did not like you. And that’s okay, because there’s plenty of others out there who will. You may fail at some of the things you want to do in life – But at the end of the day? It’s a learning experience.
The biggest takeaway from all this is…You can’t let fear stop you from living your best life.
I encourage absolutely everyone to live as comfortably as they can, with as much consistency and stability as they so please. In the same breadth though? Don’t become so comfortable with it that you don’t want to challenge yourself, ever. You bring happiness in experiencing new things, each and every day. Just stay safe, prepare, and remember that you only live once!