I’ve been an introvert since I was younger – Mostly, because my upbringing at the time caused me to be far more reserved. I didn’t trust, I didn’t let others in, I didn’t enjoy doing much outside of activities done on my own.
I really started to blossom out of this within the last 4 or so years – I learned to enjoy the company of others in social settings. Despite that, though, I do still have a battery, and it tends to seep to 0 at a fairly steady pace.
One of the biggest challenges throughout this pandemic has been recessing…
As an asthmatic, I’m at a bit of a higher risk than others. With that, I’ve had to be way more careful with my interactions. Thank goodness for WFH being a thing.
I moved out with a roommate when things had calmed down a bit, and they’re one of my close friends. As well as an acute extrovert. This was never a problem prior, because we found ways to balance one another out. I had space to say yes if I wanted to go out and enjoy myself, but there was also room to say no and be home alone when I needed it.
Unfortunately, Montreal hasn’t been the most…Well, established when it comes to the safety precautions.
So here comes wave two, and we’re stuck in the apartment together.
My depression and anxiety will peak and fall at different intervals, but they’ve definitely been more prominent – Meaning I need time to myself to recuperate and handle things. I’ve always done well at dealing with my own emotions, but I need so much space it’s not even funny.
My roommate? Has been the polar opposite.
They hover, they wander, they will pull discussions out of nowhere. Sometimes, all I’m capable of is light mutters of affirmation, or small nods and shakes of my head.
My social battery, where it once went down maybe a percentage or two every 10 or so minutes, now drains at like…10% per 5 minutes. It’s actually such a shock. I don’t dislike company, but I get to the point where I want to scream “leave me alone!” almost daily now.
This isn’t the fault of my roommate, of course, nor is it mine. Sadly, this is the effect the pandemic has – Everything we knew has changed, and a lot goes into the coping side of things.
I’m still trying to find my way, as I’m sure many others are, but today? I let you know that it’s okay.
You have time, now, so make sure you’re taking care of yourself. And if you need space?
Don’t be afraid to ask for it.